My Blog Has Moved

Well folks, I've finally done it. I've switched to WordPress and my blog is now on my own domain. So say good-bye to Blogger and good-bye to the bling. But don't be sad. Life is full of change. Change is a good thing. It keeps us on our toes. It challanges us and makes us stronger. And as your next President... oops, I got a little speechy there, didn't I?

Anyway, check me out at:

I'll look for you there.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama Wins and Americans Win...Well Some Americans Win Less

I can't begin to tell you how overjoyed I am with Obama's victory yesterday. He holds our future in his hands and I truly believe he will steer us in a stronger, better direction. But for me, and for many people like me, it is a bitter-sweet victory.

Bigots, Homophobes and Bad Hair Dye

Why is that you may ask? Well, Florida, Arizona, and California have banned gay marriages. The backwards, backwoods rednecks of Arkansas have even gone so far as to pass the unmarried couples ban on adoption, something clearly aimed at gay couples. While tens of thousands celebrated in the streets all over the country last night, others watched some of their rights being legislated away from them.

Shame on you America! This country was built on freedom and our constitution was written to protect rights, not deny them. Brian over at Gay Dads says it much better than I in his post America Get Over Yourself. I implore you to read it.

In addition, it seems that 70% of blacks who voted in California voted for Proposition 8. Now the win can't be pinpointed directly to this group because people of color only make up 6.2% of California's popluation. But it does speak volumes about what the black community thinks about the gay community. It shows that a group of people who have had their rights trampled upon in the past have no problem with trampling on the rights of others in the present.

And don't give me that it's not the same crap. I have been called vile names, spit on, threatened with a knife, punched in the face, chased by a group of guys, and even had someone try to run me over in his car, ALL BECAUSE I WAS PERCEIVED AS BEING GAY. I have had my daughter come home from a friends house upset because her friend's parent referred to me as a fag. She endured taunts of all kinds from the kids in school. Some things said to her were unbelievably nasty and I have no doubts whatsover that those little monsters were simply repeating what they heard at the dinner table.

Yes, electing Obama is a historic event and it opens the doors for many. But remember this, while some doors were opening, some were being slammed shut. Again and again and again. And I thought this was supposed to be the home of the free. Silly me.


Dave said...

Being a so-called minority, one married to a white woman, I can say I have also felt the hand of discrimination in the past but definitely not as extreme as you. It sucks no matter the reason.

I'm also disappointed in the outcome of Prop 8. Everybody I've spoken to voted no, which makes me wonder if there was some confusion amongst those who may have intended to preserve the rights of same-sex marriages but, thinking that a NO vote would deny the privilege, they chose YES to deny it.

It's a bit far-fetched, I know, but it's a theory nonetheless. I'd just like to think that in this day and age we've grown to be more accepting and tolerant. Then again, I see my share of blacks on the train daily wearing "A Dream Fulfilled" shirts with MLK Jr. and Obama, as if MLK's speech was only about advancing the black community.

Apparently, they failed to read the last paragraph...and that pisses me off.

Preston said...

Dave - It sure does suck and I am glad that you and your friends voted NO to proposition 8. Prejudice rears its head in ugly ways sometimes and other times it feeds on lies and fears to get what it wants. I don't think there was confusion over which way to vote. I think people knew exactly what they were doing, and that's a sad thing.

Dave said...

Well, I would like to think there was some confusion. But alas, you are probably right.

And I'll be honest. Like many, I wasn't very accepting of gays as a teenager and young adult. But all it took was having more than a few couples move into our neighborhood to realize how stupid I was. After being around them and seeing them as my neighbors and not a lifestyle preference, my outlook changed completely. We had teachers, police officers, lawyers...we had good people that were an integral part of our community.

In fact, in my interpersonal communications class in college, we had a debate about gay adoptions. I was "pro" because one of our neighbors had adopted a boy that, to this day, is one of the sharpest kids I know. By the end of the debate, we had convinced a handful of previously "anti" folks because they failed to see what I knew to be true.

It was awesome but unfortunately, as long as there are bibles around and people to interpret them as they see fit, it's still not enough. said...

Obama supporters got their man. A few questions:

What now is the role of the U.S. military in the world?

How, specifically, will the Obama administration help the economy?

Will Obama, unlike Bill Clinton, follow through with his tax cut to the middle class?

Will Obama, Pelosi and Reid truly govern from the center?

George Miller, who heads the House committee that deals with 401(k)s, wants to eliminate this tax subsidy. He and others want to put this all under Social Security, and let the government take control of it. Will this be attractive to the Obama administration? (The mainstream media did not talk about this issue during the campaign.)

After the announcement that Obama had won the election, why were some of his supporters outside the White House carrying the Soviet flag?

Finally, during the last couple of years, Obama has been pouring honey in so many people’s ears. During his acceptance speech at Grant Park in Chicago, why did he begin to lower the expectations of his administration?

Obama - “The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term.”

And this also from Obama’s Grant Park speech:

Obama - “There will be setbacks and false starts… We know the government can’t solve every problem… Above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation.”

Obama campaigned on Hope and Change. Reality is now setting in.

Thank you in advance, for truthfully answering these questions.

Preston said...

Dave - You're a good person and I wish more people thought like you.

Paul - Is this your standard Obama election reaction comment that you are making on all blogs that supported Obama? (Because I've seen you leave this exact comment on another blog) America has spoken. Now is the time to support the new President, not look for ways to stab him in the back.

AND Did you even read my post? It's more about gay rights than Obama. In fact, I only mentioned Obama in the first paragraph and briefly in the last. If you're going to make a comment, how about making a comment that relates to the content of the post?

Babette said...

I was surprised that voters in CA passed this proposition. I used to live in the SF Bay Area and from what I remember, people are very accepting of the Gay and Lesbian community. I am baffled. I now live in MA where same-sex marriages are allowed, I guess people here are more forward thinking than those in CA.
I was also surprised when I read about banning unmarried couples from adopting. I cannot understand why some people do not want others to have the same right and privileges that they have. :o(

Preston said...

Babette - Unfortunately, there is a lot more to California then San Francisco. And while trying to stop gays from adopting, Arkansas had no problem with stomping on the rights of unmarried couples and single women/men.

Scary Mommy said...

I totally agree, and it made the (HUGE!!) Obama victory a little less sweet. Maybe we'll get there eventually. We can hope!!

Preston said...

Someday we'll get there scary mommy, someday. But I can still celebrate the Obama victory! Woo Hoo!

Diane Mandy said...

I couldn't believe Prop 8 passed. What's wrong with people??

Julie@Cool Mom Guide said...

That blonde looks like she's fighting hard to stay in the closet. Sorry, that was rude.

There will always be people like that in America and everywhere and I at least take comfort in knowing the majority is ready for change.

Elaine said...

Thanks for stopping by and checking me out! I read your post here, and have to admit I am completely torn between voting yes or no. Why? Because as a believer in Jesus I feel the need to stand on the sanctity of marriage as one man and one woman. BUT I also believe in human rights no matter what your faith, sex, or skin is. The best way I can sum that up is that how Jesus put it, "love your neighbor as you would yourself". I want to add that my dear sweet brother is gay, and I love him tenderly. It hurts me to think that people would hurt him all because he prefers men, when really he is the nicest sweetest boy and a wonderful uncle to my children.
btw- those stupid women wearing those shirts probably like it up the bum, why else would they flaunt the position?

Preston said...

Diane - My reaction exactly!

Julie - She sure does especially with that mullett! And yes, I have some comfort in that America is ready for some change, but unfortunately not all change.

Elaine - Thanks for your very honest and candid opion. I understand your struggle you face balancing your faith and today's issues. Your brother is very lucky to have a sister like you. BTW - I believe in seperation of church and state. The state shouldn't legislate that churches have to marry gays but the churches shouldn't stop the state from marrying gays either. As far as those women go, they sure are stupid and not very religious. Do you think Jesus would wear a t-shirt like that?

Nancy Ellyn said...


I am SO ANGRY about how California voted.

My husband, daughter and I all are in favor of gay marriage and we cannot believe our nation is enlightened enough to vote for Obama, yet still discriminate against a viable, wonderful group of people.

I'm with you and hope Gloria Allred can do something about this in CA. She's doing a class action suit (I think) representing some of the first gay couples married here.

This is the worst form of discrimination ever, and I'm ashamed and embarrassed that people, in 2008 aren't smarter and wiser AND more loving.

Preston said...

Nancy Ellyn - Thank you so much for your support and kind words. It's inspiring to know that there are good, decent, loving people out there who can support the rights of everyone. You are such a good person and I wish more people were like you. And I'm not saying that because you support gay marriage. Anyone who reads your blog knows what a good person you are.

Hammed said...

Shame on America indeed for banning gay marriages. But compared to the rest of the world, America is still way more progressive.And just like what Obama said, anything is possible.

Preston said...

You're absolutely right Hammed. But there are countries that are even more progressive then America, maybe just not where you are. I love this country but there is always room for improvement.

The Verbal Warrior said...

Women like those pictured are the reason why Women's Rights are so far down in the dirt. Do they not see the obvious and complete slap in the face that they give women by trying to deter a group of people from exercising their freedoms and beliefs? Grrr.

I just will never understand one oppressed grouping trying to control the rights and beliefs of another oppressed grouping. These are probably the same women saying that our troops are over 'there' fighting for our 'freedoms'.

Ok, blood pressure is spiked. Now I must shut up :)

Very poignant article. Thanks!!

Preston said...

Thanks verbal. It got my blood pressure spiked too. And anyone who drink caramel apple creamer in their coffee is OK in my book!

Dave said...

Preston, my friend, I hope you'll find some comfort in knowing that if my beloved city of Long Beach had its way, Prop 8 would have failed.

A state does not one city make in the grand scheme of things, but it's good to know we have our hearts in the right place.

Preston said...

Thanks for your support. If only the rest of California had followed suit. But I believe that some day it will happen.

the prisoner's wife said...

But it does speak volumes about what the black community thinks about the gay community. It shows that a group of people who have had their rights trampled upon in the past have no problem with trampling on the rights of others in the present.
==== the only black person commenting so far (i think), let me try to shine a bit of light. while most black people can empathize with the attacks gays have suffered, at the end of the day, most of the debate surrounding gay marriage is religious. lots of us are VERY staunch Christians, and thus far the church hasn't been that accepting of homosexuality. i struggled with this proposition as well. i was raised a baptist, my grandfather was a minister, and i've been in church all my life. i have heard on more than one occasion that homosexuality was a whether i believe that or not, is another thing. i'm not sold, but that's because i've thought about the hypocrisy associated with the debate. at the end of the day, i voted NO, not because i'm totally comfortable with the idea of gay marriage, but because i'm not comfortable adding things to our constitution that excludes whole groups of people. but alas...the Prop 8 supporters never really tried to reach out to the black/latino community, and i'm not suprised that 70% of us voted against it. it's not ethnic, it's religious. no one worked the "civil rights" least not in our community. i'm sure this isn't the last of this issue. i think, ultimately, gays will have this right restored. perhaps this is just a lesson of how far we still have to go...

by the way...thanks for stopping by my blog.

The Verbal Warrior said...

Thanks, Preston!! :) I couldn't believe how good that Caramel Apple stuff was!! Maybe it's just the whole "Fall in the air, crispy leaves, bobbing for apples" mentality :D

Preston said...

Prisoners Wife - I'm glad you stopped by. I try to get to your blog a couple time a week. I liked your post on this subject because it showed thoughtfulness and character. I understand that it is a religous thing but try to remember, many slave owners were devoutly religous too. The Bible says "Slaves, be obedient to masters", as well as providing instructions on how to treat slaves. See Deuteronomy 15:12-15; Ephesians 6:9; and Colossians 4:1. And yes, you can find passages in the bible that you could usse against slavery as well, but THAT IS WHY RELIGOUS BELIEFS SHOULD NOT BE LEGISLATED. And you're right, the gay community should have tried more to reach out to the black/latino community. But it's also your own community's responsibility to change within. I dated a black man in the 80's and he told me that being gay and black was like being hit with a double edged sword. He told me that the prejudice that he encountered from the black community because he was gay was as bad, if not worse sometimes, then the prejudice he encountered from the white community for being black. Besides, blacks don't want white people telling them what to do, especially gay white people. It's the responsibility of black homosexuals to stand up and be heard in your community. But if they don't have the support of straight black people like you, how will they be heard? and how will they be treated?

Needless To Say said...

I was truly ashamed of my fellow Floridiots. (And not for the first time...but at least we were a blue state for a change.)

Sassy Bitch over at Sassy Bitch Society ( did a great post about this.

Preston said...

Verbal - You're absolutely right. That's why eggnong and gingerbread creamer is only available around Thanksgiving/Christmas. It's fun to partake in holiday/seasonal flavors.

Needless - Thanks for your support. I will have to check out Sassy Bitch's post. :)

Queenie Jeannie said...

It's very nice to meet you Preston! I'm so glad you wandered onto my blog!

You already are entered into my contest SIX TIMES, and if you'd like another 5 entries, all you have to do is blog about the giveaway and link it back to my blog.

Good luck and have a fabulous week!!

Preston said...

Queenie - Thanks, girl! I sure do need that cookbook and hope I win. I may just blog about it for another 5 entries. Do I get any bonus entries for blabbing about it here in my comments???? Hmmm??
Anyway, your blog is so adorable. I love the heading and background. I am glad I stumbled across your blog through SITS.