My Feeding Frenzy

I stepped on the scale today at work and my worst fears were realized. Ok, they weren’t my worst fears, but they were fears none-the-less. I have gained 11 pounds since I stopped smoking. I knew I had gained some extra weight. My pants are tight and my face feels bloated. I am eating bigger portions and snacking heavily throughout the night. When I smoked, I would simply light up a cigarette instead of grabbing something to eat. I don’t have that luxury now.

And that was really no luxury. Because I don’t smoke, my house and car smell better, I breathe easier, my clothes don’t stink, my teeth are getting whiter, and those around me who do smoke are cutting down when I am around. These are all good things. But I am also getting heavier.

My friends say it’s better to gain some weight and give my lungs a break. I feel that they are half right. It is a good thing I am doing for my lungs but the extra weight is not a good thing for me. My clothes are getting tight and uncomfortable. I’m hypoglycemic so this overeating has my blood sugar going crazy. I don’t sleep well and I’ve been waking up several times a night, very hungry. When I get up in the morning, I feel sick because I ate too late at night and then ate in the middle of the night. And I am starving at the same time. Why can’t I just stop one habit without replacing it with another?

I believe that recognizing a problem is half the battle. In fact, I realized I was eating way too much and I just couldn’t seem to stop myself. So knowing you have a problem and doing something about it are two different things. And half a battle won is still half a battle lost. The only way I am going to beat this thing is to step up to the plate and step away from the plate at the same time. It’s all up to me.

So why am I blogging about this? It’s not because misery loves company. I’m not looking for pity or a comforting word. I just need to share it with everyone. If I say it, write it, and read it, I know I’ll do it. And it helps to know that the millions of people who read my blog are supporting me. (One can dream, can’t one?)

Just like I was able to stop myself from smoking, I know I can stop myself from overeating. I had a fourth of July party at my home and went to another one the next day and most of the people were smoking. Did I smoke? No. Did I want a cigarette? Not once, even after many drinks. I think it’s time to scratch smoking off my “not doing” list and move overeating to the top. I’ll just take it one day and one pound at a time!