Mommy Overload

Being a SITS member, I've come across a lot of Mommy blogs. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. It seems that blogging has become the new extra curricular mommy activity, if such a thing even exists or ever existed. Gone are the women's clubs of yesteryear. Today, Mommies have blogs that connect them to bloggy mommy friends from all over the country. And what do you think Mommies blog about? Their kids.

But not just their kids. They blog about all the cute things those little rascally bundles of joy do and all the crazy situations they get into. They blog about their hectic lives and how they managed to open a jar of pickles with their kneecap while simultaneously dressing the two-year old, brushing the 5 year old's hair, making fluffernutter sandwiches, AND all while loading the dishwasher and folding 15 pairs of underwear because her 13 yo daughter has to change her clothes 7.5 times a day.

Not that there is anything wrong with that but I feel like I'm outmanned in the cute kid and overworked crazy parent department. How can I compete with all that nonsense? My life revolves around sitting in my living room in my flannel lounge pants, playing Fowl Words 2 at Nabiscoworld.com, and racing Dave to the door before he pees all over the carpet. It's really hard to find something cute or clever in any of that.

And don't feed me any of that crap about funny bloggers without kids like Margaret over at Nanny Goats in Panties, Kathy at The Junk Drawer, or JD over at I Do Things So You Don't Have To. Un-Mommy bloggers can use all that pent up Mommy energy on creative humor for their blogs. What a minute? I think JD has kids. Damn, that bitch is uniquely funny and possibly has children? I'd hate her if I didn't like her so much. (Ok, so maybe she doesn't have kids but she has a cat. That counts, doesn't it?)

Well regardless, I too have some cute parenting stories, sort of. Let me know what you think of these:

1. The other night I was in bed half alseep and Dave farted. (Yes, I'm one of those lame people who sleep with their dogs.) Now there's nothing unsually funny with that as Dave farts all the time! But this time he stood up and let another one rip, a really big and loud fart. Before I could check to see if there was any residual damage to my comforter, Dave started to vehmently bark at his butt. There really is something sad about watching a dog bark at his rear end at 2:45 in the morning. Yes, I have no life.

2. When Heather was about 1 1/2, her mother and I decided to take her out to a nice restaurant with us for dinner. (Yes, I was a breeder once.) It was the first time we had taken her somewhere nice and we were all dressed up. I forget the name of the restaurant but it was the kind of place that had white table cloths and everyone talked in hush tones. So there we are, sitting at the table with Heather in a high-chair, when all of a sudden Heather loundly announces, "I farted!" The room went silent for a few seconds and then everyone in the room started to laugh. Aren't children precious?

3. When Heather was about 4 I was out at the mall with her when two young ladies approached me to tell me how adorable my daghter was. This was the 80's and the girls had the big hair and the 80's clothes and make up. They're making all this fuss over Heather. Heather is a real girly-girl and she loved girls with lots of makeup. She turned to the first girl (who was very pretty) and said, "You're really pretty," and before the girl could respond she turned to the other one and said, "and you're not." I knew right then and there that Heather had inherited my gay bitch gene.

Well there you have it. Even 48 yo gay dads with 29 yo daughters can sometimes come up with funny antedotes regarding children. Yes, dogs are like children and I don't want to argue the point. (If you don't believe it's true, than you need to see Molly Shannon in The Year of the Dog. And don't miss Laura Dern's spot on portrayal of an anal, over-protective mother. Yea, you know the type.) So thank you Mommies, for letting me be part of your blogging community. I'll do my best to keep up with you, one farting dog/kid at a time.

The Reports of My Blog's Death are Greatly Exaggerated

Ok. So I haven't been around for a while. I know I've been busy with work and my play and gaining back ten pounds. That stuff takes time, you know what I mean? Procrastination and apathy are an artform that needs to be slowly and carefully crafted. Very slowly...

Anyway, I was doing so well with my blog, faithfully posting around 20 posts per month. It was a lot of fun and I also enjoyed gaining a following and reading all the diffent blogs I'd stumble upon. So what went wrong? What happened?

Life happened. I got caught up in the crap and mess that sometimes life feeds us. It snuck upon me out of nowhere and the next thing I knew it was "Wham! Bam! Thank you M'am" and my blog was getting ignored. And I mean that figuratively because there's been no whamming or bamming in my life for quite some time. So I can't even blame my lack of blogging on that.

Oh yes, I did have my play. That ate up time all weekend and during the week I needed to study my lines. We've done shows for two weekends and now we have a little break. No show this weekend and then two more shows the following Saturday and Sunday. But rehearsals are over so I've got more time on my hands.

So what have I been doing? Well, not a whole lot. Not cleaning the house. (It's the worst it's looked since my depression) Not dating. Not rehearsing anymore. Certainly not blogging. That's a lot of "not doing something" going on here. In fact, way too much of that if you ask me.

One thing I have been doing is going to Merryfield's where Heather works. The food is cheap and good and the drinks are cheap and strong. I sit at the bar and drink beer and eat wings and watch hockey or basketball or racing on the tv with a bunch of middle-aged breeders and occaisionally their middle-aged wives/girlfriends. (Breeder is a gay term for a straight person, just in case any of you aren't up on gay lingo.)

Monday is $6.95 dinner night; Tuesday is $12.95 steak night; Wednesday is $8.95 pasta night; and Thursday is seafood night. Now where else can you get an 8 0z filet mignon dinner for $12.95 and Blue Moon drafts for $3.25? It's hard to resist that. I've gone with Linda and sat at the bar chowing down wings and listening to a live band. (The band was awesome) I've had dinner several times with Amy AND actually sat at the bar by myself several times.

But enough is enough. As cheap as it is, it still costs money and I can't afford to do that every night. Plus I'm gaining back my weight at an alarming rate and I am afraid that I am just going to give up and give in. So I've decided to stop running around and beg for forgiveness. I'm sorry my precious little blog for running around behind your back. I'm home and I'm here to stay.

There Goes My Money Up the Chimney

Right before I left for Orlando, I scheduled the once a year cleaning/servicing of my heater which is part of my oil service from my oil company. While the service guy was checking out my chimney, the terra cotta liner collapsed and disinegrated around his hand, trapping his hand in the chimney. With his free hand, he called his office for help. Two guys and 30 minutes later, his had was free. And that was were the "free" stuff ended.

You see, my house is almost 70 years old. The oil service guy told me the terra cotta chimney liner was destroyed but we were still able to use the chimney; however, he insisted I get it looked at immediately for safety sake. The oil company recommended Garden State Chimney. I called them repeated and left messages and no call back. I called the oil company and they apologized. Later that night, the guy from GSC called me and sounded annoyed. He said he was busy and it wasn't serious since the chimney was still usable. He said he'd get back to me and that was the last I heard from him.

So I went to Orlando and then when I got home I had all those rehearsals and the show so I kinda forgot/ignored it/hoped it would fix itself. Of course, that was not a good thing and finally I called another company and the guy came out today.

Well it's serious as my chimney is in bad shape. He was very concerned about the fact that the heater was venting into the basement and not into the chimney. He recommended a Stainless Steel liner and it would cost about $1,800 to $2,000 to install. AND he suggested a get a carbon monoxide alarm for safety sake. YIKES

But you gotta do what you gotta do so I am getting it done. He said since it's an emergency he'll be able to get the paperwork moving for the permit very quickly and should be able to start working on it first thing next week. I guess that's part of being a home owner, the sucky part.

Measure For Measure Backstage Pictures

Here are some backstage pictures from my show, Measure For Measure. All were taken in the green room except for the first one, which was taken during one of the dress rehearsals.

The characters are Esculus (dressed as Chaplan), Master Froth, and Pompey (The bawd/tapster and me). We scrapped the suit I was wearing as it was not 1920's period.

This is Lucio and Pompey (me) re-enacting a scene in the green room. This is the suit I wear for my last scene, when I become an apprentice hangman (1920's gangster.)

Here I am with Abhorsen (Daryl, who works with me at FMP). We are supposed to be dressed identical as I become his apprentice to avoid being whipped and hanged for being a bawd (pimp).

Lucio and one of the Dance Hall girls who also plays Juliet.

Isabelle (Dina) discussing a future production of Shakespeare with the guy who plays Barnardine. And yes, I've been working with these folks for months and still can't remember most of their names. Don't hate on me; I'm just terrible with names.

More cast members, the Duke in Disguise, Claudio, the "other" Isabella, and Escalus (dressed like Chaplan).

Isabella, the Friar, and Marianna

More cast members waiting and changing.

Another candid cast shot. Angelo is on the sofa.

Mistress Overdone's butt. (Sorry Francie, I couldn't help myself)

Isabella and Elbow (who also plays Abhorsen)

I hope you liked the pictures. Two shows down and six to go. I have a show today at 3 pm with call at 2 pm. About ten of my friends are coming to see the show today so I am very excited. Afterwards, we are all going over to my buddy Steve's house. Woo hoo!!

My Play Opens Tonight and I am Half-Dead

Can you say exhausted? Cause that's how I feel. I have been running around like a chicken with his head cut off since right before I left for Orlando to run our booth at the NAFEM. I must say that the show went off with nary a hitch. It was a big success and we gathered just a tad more leads than we did two years ago. That is saying something because in times of economic depression, trade shows are usually hit hard.

Since I've been back, I've been working each day and racing home to get the dogs walked and fed, shovel some food down my throat, and get to rehearsals by 6:00pm. (Which usually becomes 6:20) Anyway, I took today off so I could relax, regroup, and rest before the show. We have a 7 pm call and the show opens at 8 pm.

In case you missed it, I am in Shakespeare's Measure for Measure being done by the Collingswood Shakespeare Company. It's one of Shakespeare's lesser known comedies. We have updated it to a 1920's theme and it's very, very funny. Even people who don't like Shakespeare will like this. And I play Pompey, a tapster and bawd. (Translation: Bartender/Pimp)

Am I excited? You bet. I haven't been in a play for about a year. I've been doing at least 3 plays a year since 2001 and in 2007 I did 6. I took a rest in 2008 and now I have been bit by the acting bug again. But even though I am acting, I promise not to desert my blog. (Well I promise to not desert it permanently anyway, if only for a short period of time.)

So folks, don't wish me luck. In case you don't know, wishing someone luck in the theater means bad luck. Always say, "Break a leg!" Theater folks are a strange breed. (and yes, I speak from exprience.)

Measure For Measure Trailer

One of the cast members, Jim, has a friend who does film. He aggreed to put together a little trailer for our upcoming show, Shakespeare's Measure For Measure. It was filmed a few days before I left for Orlando and when I went to rehearsals last night, Jim had a copy of it. This morning when I got up, I had an email from Jim included the link to the video on Youtube. The trailer is below:



Not too shabby for a little Shakesepeare Theater Group located in South Jersey, eh? It was filmed at the American Legion Post which is why you see so many flags in the background. We didn't have all of our costumes yet, but all in all, it looks pretty darn good. It's gotten me even more excited about the show and I wish you all could come and see it.

We open this Friday, the 13th. Yup, just like the movie. Perhaps it will be good luck for us. I have a bunch of friends who are coming to see the show Sunday and we are all going out to get something to eat afterwards. I also want to add that it really is a great cast and as a newcomer to their organization, they have welcomed me with open arms. Thanks guys and let's all go break a leg this Sunday!

A Quickie

Just a quick hello to say that I have returned safely from Orlando and am still crazy buys. I still need to sort through all the leads, announce the winner of the contest, and process all the requests. In addition to that, I had to race home from work today, walk the dogs, slurp down some soup, and make it to rehearsal by 6:00 pm. I got home a little after 10 and had to walk the dogs again. I'm about to go to bed but I just wanted to say hello to all you folks out there. Please don't give up on me. I promise not to abandon my blog.

Greetings From Orlando!

I'm on my lunch break and on a computer at an Internet Cafe inside the NAFEM Show at the Orange County Convention Center, South Hall. Was that a mouthful or what!? The show is going well and although we were a little slow yesterday, we are much busier today. The "Super Hero" theme is very popular and we've given away a lot of our "comic books" and "Super FMP" t-shirts. So far, I'm pleased.

The weather has been cool to cold. I'm glad I bought a winter jacket because I've worn it every night. It's supposed to be warmer today but I have been inside the show hall so I am not sure of what the weather is like. We are taking clients out to dinner tonight and we will be eating on an outdoor covered patio that overlooks a like. There are this be heater towers on the patio and the restaurant assures me that we won't be cold. I've got my fingers crossed.

Well I better get back to the booth and make sure everything is going well. I'll be back on Sunday and of course, will be thrust into tech week for my upcoming play, Measure For Measure. Hopefully, I'll get to study some lines tonight. Bye for now!

Off to Orlando Until this Sunday

Well folks, I am sitting here waiting for my ride to the Philadelphia airport. I am heading off to sunny Orlando for the NAFEM Show. NAFEM stands for the North American Association of Food Equipment Manufacturers. Every two years NAFEM holds what is arguably the biggest food service equipment trade show in the industry. Historically, the even was held in September and the venue would change with every show. I've done NAFEMs in New Orleans, Dallas, Anaheim, and Las Vegas, just to name a few. But last year the folks at NAFEM contracted to hold the next 5 shows in Orlando and changed the date from September to February.

So why should you care about this? If I didn't work in the food service industry, I wouldn't care. Unfortunately, I do not own a laptop and my acess to computers will be limited, to say the least. So I may not get to post anything until I return.

There may be so computers at the hotel that I might be able to access. The show usually has some internet cafes and so I may be able to get on a pc and post a really small notice about how things are going. I thought I would be clever and leave some premade posts scheduled for specific days when I was out, but I never got around to it.

One other thing, they fired my friend, Linda, from work yesterday. She's worked with me for over 12 years and during the past few years she's had some very big personal issues that have impacted her ability to do/be at her job. She's be skating on thin ice for quite a while. She made a fairly big mistake yesterday and that was the ammunition they needed to fire her. I feel bad about leaving right now when she needs a friend but this is my job so away I must go.

I will keep in contact with her while I am away. In all honesty, I think she was at the point where she hated her job and now is relieved that she doesn't have to work there anymore. It's sort of a happy/sad thing cause she's glad she's gone but can't afford to be without a job. But no matter what happens, I'll still be her friend and help her wherever she is.

Dreams, Stress, Boyfriends, and All That Jazz...

If you have read any of my recent past posts, you'll know that I have a very busy schedule right now. I leave for Orlando on Tuesday for a BIG trade show and I won't return until Sunday. My play opens Friday the 13th and when I get back, I will be rehearsing every night until opening day. On top of that, my stepfather's birthday is the 9th (he's 93), my good friend Steve's birthday is the 10th, and my sister's birthday is the 14th, which is also Valentine's Day.


So I am crazy busy at work, crazy busy with rehearsing and learning lines, and just plain crazy looking for birthday presents somewhere in between all that AND I have to deal with being single on yet another Valentine's Day. This all leads to the title of this post. You see, I've been dreaming a lot lately and mostly about having a boyfriend.

I think because I've changed my eating habits and I'm in "stress" mode, my dreams have become somewhat more vivid. For several nights I have dreamt about having a boyfriend. I remember the dreams when I first awake and then they slowly fade like a fog lifting as the sun breaks through. I don't remember most of the dreams other than I had a boyfriend in them. But there is something I do distinctly remember.

I remember being in bed and cuddling up to him. (whoever "him" was as I cannot remember what he looked like) But I do remember how I felt--a warm, wonderful feeling of having someone to love and who loves me back. It's a feeling I've known before and even as I type this, the feeling is sweeping over me like a sweet distant memory. When I awoke, I almost felt like someone was sleeping beside me.

I know that I want a boyfriend. I know that I am happy when I have a boyfriend. I know that I don't like not having a boyfriend BUT I also know that I can live without one without falling apart. Once all this busy stuff has passed and the play is over, I am going to focus on trying to meet someone. But not like before, in bars or online in gay chat rooms. I've put my stuff out there before and I am tired of hook-ups and sex driven relationships. Is there someone out there that wants something more? Something lasting? Something worth holding on to?

I believe you're out there. And I'm coming for you, whoever you are, and wherever you are. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be looking for someone like me, too. Hey, stranger things have happened. (and I should know cause most of them have happened to me.)